What Zelda chars. do to waste thier idiotic time
by Val-chan
Summary: Well..... this whole thing was inspired by the great and wonderful ~*Misty Dawn*~!!! Thank you o great Queen of randomness. I HAVE CHAP. 4 UPPPPP!!!! YEEEAH!!!! This is like the most chapters i have ever had since.... ummmm.... well... since i was born!!
1. Default Chapter

** Weeeeeeeellll since some of you can't  READ  i have decided to delete chap.1. I don't know how many times i have given credit to Misty Dawn!!!!!!!! I have said it in  almost  all of my chaps. You people can't see them or you can't FREAKIN' READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go check out the freakin' reviews and **GASP** guess what? MISTY DAWN REVIEWED MY CHAPTERS HERSELF!!!! SO DON'T GO GIVING ME THIS CRAP THAT IT'S WRONG!!!!!!!! I MEAN FROM WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S PRETTY FREAKIN' HAPPY!!!!!!!!! For those who gave me nasty flamers you will be getting a surprise. I won't stop until i get even with you and that's a freakin' promise. To those who tell me politly, i will ask them what bothers them and see if i can help them. But for SOME OTHER PEOPLE I WILL GET EVEN!!! I mean plenty of my friends now know about this and have read it themselves and did see me give credit to Misty Dawn. My one friend is a pretty good scolding person soooooo check your e-mail. And you know who you are. And remeber... don't get me pissed again!!!!!!!!!!! **

Author's note: Hey! Sup? Guess who's back to pollute your stupid minds w/ my gay fics?   
.:Will flounces in (my friend).:   
Will: O!!! YOUR HAPPY?!   
Me: SHUT UP WILL!!!! YOUR NOT IN THIS FIC!!!   
Will: 'K *flounces off*   
.:rolls eyes:. Ooooookkkkkkk. Well any-hoo… g'wan guess who it is!!! .:kawii eyes:. pppppplllllleeeeeaaaassssseee??? Wow, you really don't know? Ok… it's me.. ~*~Anime Chick~*~ .:confetti thrown everywhere.: YEAH!!! Well moving on. This story was inspired to me by the one and only… great comedy writer… drum roll please…~*Misty Dawn*~!!!! Thank you so much o great Queen of randomness!! To all you readers please read her wonderful stories!!! I especially love her one of "What Zelda Characters do w/ their free time" great and hilarious story ^.~ This is kindove' based on that. Uuummmm if you like this story… please r/r I might make some more up. I have some good stories up my sleeve… that is if I can make them funny enough. Ok here are the characters. Males: Link, Mido, Ganondorf, Darunia, Skull Kid, Rauru   
Females: Zelda, Saria, Malon, Ruto, Nabooru, Impa   
Maybe some guests appearances!! Now on wit da story!!! 


	2. Of dying and easter eggs

Authors note: Ok here is the second insallment of "What Zelda chars. do to waste their idiotic time". Intresting Title huh? Very l-o-n-g. Well i got this idea when i was dying eggs for easter yesterday. O by the way... HAPPY EASTER!!! .:hugs everyone:. ok... moving on... now i present you with the second installment!!! Enjoy ^.~ 

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda chars. or dying eggs kit. There. 

2nd episode: Dye Time!!!   
By: Yours truly... Anime Chick!!! 

.:everyone is sitting around a table with a bunch of eggs.: 

Link: Ok... *stares at eggs* what the fuzz do we do now? 

Nabooru: *reads directions* well it says we hafta get a cup or bowl for each separet color- 

Zelda: Ok Impa get em' 

Impa: I'm not your servent! You get 'em you prissy little snot. 

Zelda: Oh SHUT UP you white haired freak! 

Malon: OK!!! ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!!! Skull Kid you get em' 

Skull Kid: WHY ME? 

Malon: Because your stupid and you know where the cups are. This IS your house right? 

Skull Kid: OH!!! WHOOPS I FORGOT!!! 

Darunia: Good goddesses Skull Kid, you are so dense! 

Skull Kid: YO, DON'T DISS THE MASTER!!! *goes gets 9 cups* 'K THERE! 

Rauru: Good job Skull Kid! You did something without breaking it! 

Skull Kid: SHUT UP YOU FAT BASTARD! 

Ganondorf: Ooooooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!! 

Link: Grow up Ganondorf! 

Ganondorf: Look, don't make me smash your face! 

Link: Yeah? Whatever! 

Ganondorf: *stands up* You wanna piece of me? 

Link: *stands up too* Yeah! As a matter of fact i do! 

Ruto: *gets water gun out and sprays both of em'* MWHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE *breath* HEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHE!!! I FINALLY HAVE MY WATER GUN!!! MWEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEH! 

Zelda: Ok she's scarying me 

Saria: *also reads directions* Ummm... now it says we need some vinegar. Anyone wanna get that? 

Mido: *waves frantically* OH ME! ME MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!! 

Nabooru: Hehehehehe. Mido's just doing it because he likes Saria. 

Saria: YARGH!! 

Everyone else: Oooooooohhhhhhh 

Saria: Ok Mido just get the vinegar! 

Mido: 'K *flounces off for vinegar* here it is!!! 

Ganondorf: *opens vinegar bottle and turns away* Eeeewww! This stuff reeks!!! 

Malon: Whatever! Give it here *grabs bottle and smells it* I don't smell anything! 

.:everyone stares at her.: 

Malon: Well i don't! 

Impa: *sighs* C'mon let's just pour the crap and get it over with! 

Zelda: Ok everyone picks thier own color! 

.:everyone jumps on top of the colors trying to get thier favorite color before someone else does. And after many wacks on the head by Impa they finally separated and each held up thier colors.: 

Link: Green (of course!), Darunia: Red (which really turns pink), Zelda: Purple, Malon: Blue (she got it before Ruto hehehehe), Impa: black (what the hell? I never knew a black one was stuck in there! Hey at least the Goth's aren't complanin'!), Nabooru: Orange, Mido: Pink (which really turns out to be red), Ganondorf: ZIP! He just got a really big bonk on the head because he's a LOSER!!!, Ruto: water drop tatto for her egg, Saria: Forest Green, Skull Kid: Yellow, Rauru: NADA!! He's too old! 

Ruto: Ok why the hell do i have to be stuck with a stupid tatto? 

Link: Because you get on my nerves! 

Ruto: WHAT?! That has nothing to do with it! 

Link: It has plenty to do with it 

Darunia: Ok now what do we do Zelda? 

Zelda: Go dunk your head! 

Darunia: What's the matter Zelda? Can't read? 

Zelda: Oh $#^! How'd you find out? 

Everyone: Ooooooooohhhhhhh 

Saria: Did anyone notice that we sound like a police car when we do that? 

Ruto: OH! I DID! I DID! SEE LINK! DIDJA SEE!!! AIN'T I SO SMART? 

Link: I'm enthralled. 

Mido: ok... this is really getting on my nerves... i ain't talking through this whole entire fic! 

Saria: Oh joy! 

Rauru: But why? 

Mido: Because i feel like it and also because Anime Chick hates me and just dosn't want me to talk! And plus she does not feel like making a talking diolog for me. *whispers* lazy b*tch!

Nabooru: That idea has potential! 

Link: Ok... can someone just read the f*ckin' loser directions please!? 

Ruto: OH! I WILL! I WILL IWILLIWILLIWILLIWILLIWILL!!!! 

Link: You don't need to Ruto! Your already a loser! 

Ruto: Aw damnit! 

Ganondorf: 'K. I'll be the reader since i didn't get a f*ckin' color! 

Impa: That's nice 

Ganondorf: Ok. You have to drop in these freakin' pills and watch them freakin' fizz. 

Rauru: Sounds cool! Since i didn't get one either i'll just watch the fizz. You guys do something 

.:everyone does something and in about 5.2 seconds Rauru calls out that the freakin' pills have stoped fizzing:. 

Ruto: Hey! Look! The vinager changed color! 

Zelda: No $#^! 

Nabooru: Ok me first! MEFIRSTMEFIRSTMEFIRST!!! 

Darunia: Rriiiiiiiiight 

Ganondorf: Wait a rock pickin' minute! I have ta read the directions you freakin' retards! 

Skull Kid: OH YEAH!!!! ME FORGOT!!! READ AWAY GANONDORF!!! 

.:suddenly Tatl appears and everyone dosen't give a crap:. 

Ganondorf: THAT I WILL!!! *cracks fingers* Ok... yougottadiptheeggsintothefrickin'colorcrap...thenyougottabecarefulnottocrackanybecausethenthey'llbeuseless...and then... afterabout5to6minutesyoupick *breath* itupwiththislittlehookthingandtaa-daa!!! You have your egg!!! (He's talking fast) 

Ruto: We do what now? 

Link: Can you reapet that last line please? 

Ganondorf: *evil death glare* HELL NO!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LISTENING!!!! 

Tatl: OH!!! I know what he was saying! Basically all you have to do is dip the egg in and wait about 5 to 6 minutes and then take it out again with this little hook thing-a-magiger! 

Ganondorf: Can i kill you now or later? 

Zelda: Ok thanx Tatl!! 

Tatl: no prob. 

Nabooru: Ok.. i'm first! *goes up to the Orange color and chucks her egg in. It cracks* WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? *picks up egg and sees crack* AAWWWW DAMNIT!!! OOOOOHHHH $#^! 

Tatl: You b*tch! I said dip it in not chuck it in!!!! 

Nabooru: *grabs Tatl and dunks her in* F*CK YOU, YOU LITTLE B*ITCH!!! 

Impa: Wow! I think she's having a mental breakdown. 

Skull Kid:TO BAD FOR HER! IT'S MY TURN!!! *dips his egg in yellow and comes out a perfect yellow* MWEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. MY EGGS THE BEST!!! 

Darunia: Not for long sucker! *dips his egg in and it comes out pink* WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS!? OK who put the frickin' pink in a red color? 

Zelda: It comes out that way! 

Skull Kid: MINES THE BEST SO FAR SO BOO-YAH!!! 

Link: MY TURN!!! *dunks his in and takes it out. Perfect green but has a crack in it* AAAAWWW $#^! 

Skull Kid: I'M BEATING LINK! I'M BEATING LINK! 

Link: That's right just make a show of it! 

Skull Kid: 'K!!! *runs around* I'M BEATING LINK! I'M BEATING LINK! i'M BEATING LINK! I'M BEATING LINK! I'M BEATING LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!!! 

Link: STOP THAT AT ONCE!!! 

Saria: Uuuummmm it's Zelda's turn! 

Zelda: Aww right! *chucks it in purple too it cracks* AAAWWWW $#^! 

Darunia: Didn't you see Nabooru do the same thing and mess up? 

Zelda: No i was brushing my hair! Or rather Impa was. 

Ruto: You retard! 

Zelda: SHUT UP YOU DEFORMED FISH!!! 

Saria: Riiiiiiiiiiiight. O it's Malon's turn!! 

Malon: NO!! SAVE ME FOR LAST!!! SAVOR THE MOMENT!!!! 

Saria: Ummmm ooookkkkkkk! That means it's my turn!!!! *drops it in but misses. It lands on Rauru's head* WHOOPS!!!! SORRY!!! Well i guess that means i'm disqualified!!! 

Skull Kid: YEP! 

Nabooru: Ruto it's your f*ckin' turn you over-grown fish! 

Ruto: SHUT UP!!! Okay..Link...watch me...okay? Watch me...you're gonna watch me...right? OK you gotta watch me...I watch you all the time!!! Link, you gotta watch me...I watch you all the time!!! 

Link: No $#^! 

Ruto: 'K *sticks on water droplet tatto but it falls on the ground* WHAT THE F*CK? Damn... fine i guess i forfiet my turn 

Link: Is that legal? 

Rauru: It is now 

Malon: MY TURN!!! OH GREAT GODDESSES!!!! HERE GOES!!! *dips in egg gently and everyone waits around for 10 minutes* 

Skull Kid: *nervous* UUMMM! MALON YOU'VE GONE OVER THE TIME LIMIT!!! 

Malon: Who gives a f*ck? OH YEAAAAHHHH!!! IT'S READY!!!! *takes out egg gently with hoop thinga-magiggy. It's perfect! no fingerprints or aything* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

Skull Kid: AWW DAMN!!! HER'S IS BETTER!!! 

Malon: O boo-frickin'-yaa! I AM THE MASTER!!! 

Nabooru: I KNEW IT!! SHE IS THE MASTER!!! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!!! 

Anime Chick: Ok good for you Nabooru!!! But could i butt in for about 5.2 seconds? THE EPISODE IS OVER!!!!! LATES!!! 

Everyone: Aaaaawwwwwwwwwww 

Authors Note: Once again thank you for reading my gay fics. **kiss** And remember ideas are always helpful!!!! Adios Amigos. Luv: Anime Chick 


	3. The Zelda chars. enter the horrible worl...

Author's Note: Well it looks like I'm continuing the insaness. If I'm going insane how come I'm listening to the final song to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time? I thought this song was supposed to be one of saneness!!   
  
This has nothing to do with the story but I'm gonna talk about Nintendo news! Oh yeah! I'm practically the Nintendo news keeper! Well as most of you know, Nintendo is coming out with their new game system, Nintendo GameCube!!! This game cube has controllers without those annoying connection strings. You would not believe this but the GameCube's height is smaller then a GameBoy Color!!!! The width though is the same as a regular N64. Not to shabby huh? Well any-hoo, Nintendo MIGHT come out with a Zelda game on this new system. But guess what? Ganondorf is back and he's one huge fat bastard!! Link looks like a girl though. Not a very good thing for the Hero of Time. Maybe it's his daughter. It does sound cool though, "The Heroine of Time". I can see that! How many of you (raise your hands) can see that? Ok well moving on with the story!!! Enjoy!!! Oh and Grazie for all the reviews. I'm glad you all like me **sob sob** 

What Zelda Chars. Do to Waste Their Idiotic Time: Part 3   
The Zelda chars. Enter the horrible world of crappy poetry!!! By: Anime Chick 

A weak imitation of Masterpiece theater theme being played on a kazoo is heard in the background. Vid-cam zooms in on a small library-type room and a comfy red easy chair where Zelda is currently sitting, smoking a pipe and reading a book. 

Zelda: *looks up. Takes pipe out of her mouth.* Good evening.

Malon: **taps Zelda** uh… Zelda? 

Zelda: WHAT? 

Malon: uh… were having some troubles with back up. 

::The camera flashed to the back of the room were Ruto is chasing Link around with a water gun:: 

Zelda: God dammit!!! What the hell is she doing with that flotation device? 

Malon: What? 

Zelda: Look… just tell them to get the hell away from each other, slap Ruto and take away her water gun! That should take care of it! 

Malon: Gotcha **runs off set** 

Zelda: *sighs* Anyway, welcome to the show. Some of you are probably wondering what the hell is going on…. 

Ganondorf: What the hell is going on? 

Zelda: Shut up. You don't come on until later. 

Ganondorf: But- 

Zelda: Go away! 

Ganondorf: *grumbles* 

Zelda: **clears throat** Anyway…the freakin' author got another queer idea, **holds up picture of author with devil's horns and a goatee painted on** and has decided that she must shower us with crappy poetry. Some of you may have already witnessed this in my MSTing of the poem, "Dearest Andrea" by Keith. 

Ganondorf: **groans** Don't mention that poem ever again. 

Zelda: Didn't I tell you to get lost? 

Ganondorf: …… 

Zelda: So, since I now must read and critique a collection of truly horrible poetry I have decided to let the Rest of us share in my torture by creating a whole theater devoted to the MSTing of crappy poetry. I call it "Crappy Poetry Theater". 

Rauru: **snorts** How original. 

Zelda: **reaches over and smacks Rauru in the back of the head** 

Rauru: Itai! 

Darunia: Zelda, we've got the disclaimer ready. 

Zelda: Well put it up!   
  
  
  
  


Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

Skull Kid: WOW! THAT WAS WEAK. 

Zelda: Couldn't we jazz it up a little or something? 

Darunia: Um… 

Disclaimer: I own nothing. So there. 

Zelda: *sigh* Never mind. Let's just get on with the show. 

  


::The scene cuts to a large, darkened theater where 10 figures are sitting:: 

  


Saria: Did Zelda tell you why we're supposed to be here? 

Rauru: Uh….no…. 

Link: What is that onna up to now? The last time we were in something like this I had to listen to some stupid poem. 

Nabooru: I'm sure it won't be anything like that this time. 

Rauru: *choking noises* 

Impa: Problem? 

Rauru: **cough** Nope **cough** 

Zelda:**pops in out of thin air** Hiyee guys! 

Link: What's this all about, onna? 

Zelda: **pouts** What kind of a greeting is that? 

Ruto: Why are we here? 

Zelda: Because if I have to be tortured, so you do too. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Impa: She's scaring me. 

Ganondorf: She's always scaring you! 

Impa: SHUT UP!!! 

Nabooru: Anime Chick!!!! 

Anime Chick: zzzzzzzzz*wakes up* huh what? 

Nabooru: Is this for your story? 

Anime Chick: What story? What the fuzz are you talkin' about? 

Skull Kid: YOU FREAKIN' RETARD!!! THE ONE ABOUT WHAT WE DO TO WASTE OUR IDIOTIC TIME!!!!!!!! 

Anime Chick: Oh yeeeeeeeah that one!! Yep!! 

Link: I'm out 

Darunia: Ditto 

Saria: Yo word… I'm out. 

Anime Chick: But-but-but-but-but-but- 

Ruto: **sprays Anime Chick in the face with water gun** 

Anime Chick: **sputters** Grrrrrrrr… I'm going back to sleep **bangs head on the counter and suddenly-** zzzzzzz…zzzzzzz…zzzzzz…zzzzzzz…zzzzzzz 

Mido: Like I said, lazy b*tch! 

Rauru: MIDO!!! Your not supposed to be in this anymore!! 

Mido: Oh yeah, right! **disappears** 

Saria: AWWWW darn! I wanted him to stay!!! 

  


::everyone stares at Saria::   


Saria: Uhhh…but she caught me in the shower! It wasn't me! Saw me bangin' on the sofa! It wasn't me!- 

Everyone: SHUT UP!!!! 

Saria: **shuts up** 

Link: Ok Zelda. Did Anime Chick tell you what were doing? 

Ganondorf: Is it homework? 

Nabooru: Like math? 

Impa: Or maybe Science. 

Skull Kid: OH!! I GOT ONE!! I GOT ONE!!! ART HOMEWORK!! 

Everyone: SHUT IT!!! 

Zelda: Actually it's…..POETRY! 

::crash of thunder and lightning:: 

Zelda: **glares** Who did that? 

Malon: **from the sound effects room** Sorry. 

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! 

Darunia: INJUSTICE! 

Ruto: Omeo o korosu. 

Link: **smacks Ruto and Darunia in the back of the heads** You baka's!!!! Have you guys been hanging out with that queer anime show, Gundam Wing? 

Darunia: Oh $#^! How'd you know? 

Ruto: I thought our secret was safe Darunia! How did you find out? 

Link: Well gee, I dunno. When someone says "Omeo o korosu" ya kinda start wondering- 

Nabooru: **with no feeling** hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha……………..no 

Zelda: C'mon guys, it's only a couple of poems. If I have to suffer, you have to suffer. 

Skull Kid: WHO MADE UP THAT RULE?! 

Malon: Actually it says so in the otaku writer's book of rules and privileges. Page 64 line 7. *shows Skull Kid the book* 

Skull Kid: DAMN!!!! 

Zelda: See? So let's get started. Today's featured poet is *drum roll* Alfred Austin! 

Everyone: Yay. 

Zelda: He wrote an epic poem called "The Human Tragedy". 

Malon: Which it was. 

Zelda: The original is something like 20 pages long- 

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! 

Zelda: But I decided to cut it down to just one page…. 

Everyone: Phew. 

Zelda: 'Cause I only wanted the really crappy parts. Some of the others stuff wasn't half bad. 

Everyone: **groan** 

Zelda: Link is going to be our reader. 

Everyone: **glare at Link** 

Link: **takes a nervous step back** Hey, don't shoot the messenger. 

Zelda: So without further ado, The Human Tragedy. 

Ganondorf: We're gonna get you for this, Anime. 

Anime Chick: zzzz… zzz…zzz- **wakes up and slaps Ganondorf** 

Ganondorf: SCREW YOU!!!!! **curses at Anime Chick** 

Anime Chick: Sorry, I don't do personal favors **goes back to sleep** 

Nabooru: hehehehehehehe- 

Ganondorf: **with no feeling** oh… chuckle chuckle. 

Link: Anyway…. *clears throat* 

  
  
  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*The Human Tragedy*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Saria: We know. Just get it over with already. 

But the fleet hours pass pitilessly fleeter, 

Impa: This poem is pitiless. 

Darunia: Is fleeter a word. 

Nabooru: Guess so. 

Or where, half-sadly warbling as it went, 

Ganondorf: How do you warble half-sadly? 

Rauru: Like this. *makes a weird moose in heat call* 

Zelda: Stop that! I don't want any horny mooses hanging around the theater. 

Impa: Mooses? 

Zelda: Okay, moose. 

Like a boy-poet's happy discontent 

Darunia: Happy discontent? 

Saria: It's called an oxymoron. 

Skull Kid: THIS POET'S AN OXY-MORON. 

……… 

Everyone: **stare** 

Nabooru: What the hell was that? 

Zelda: Oh, that just means I left a part out. 

The stiff wain creaks 'neath the nodding wheat; 

Skull Kid: WHEAT NODS? 

Saria: In this poet's insane mind, it does! 

Ruto: What's a wain? 

English Teacher: **appears out of thin air** Look that up in your f*ckin' Wagnall. 

Everybody: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! 

English teacher: **disappears** 

Malon: Sorry. He was in the last fic (not really but-). I forgot that he was in here. 

Saria: That was scary. 

Zelda: Let's just get back to the poem. 

Skull Kid: I LOOKED UP WHAT 'WAIN' MEANS. 

Impa: Well, what is it? 

Skull Kid: IT'S A CART OR WHELL-BARROW. 

Ruto: Then why couldn't he just say that? 

Zelda: You're asking me? 

Flit, yaffel, flit from tree to tree. 

Everybody: o.O 

Impa: The author has gone insane. 

Darunia: I want out of here now! 

Zelda: Maybe it's only a temporary thing. 

Nabooru: Wouldn't count on it. 

And the acorn drops at your dreaming feet, 

Rauru: Do feet dream? 

Saria: Actually I think there was a study being done on that at- 

Ganondorf: Saria? 

Saria: Yes? 

Ganondorf: Shut it. 

Saria: **shuts up** 

Flit, yaffel, flit from tree to tree. 

Zelda: Ohmigod, it's back! 

Impa: Save us! 

Darunia: **eyes get that zero look** Must…stop….torture…. 

Ruto: Uh…Darunia? 

The whimpering winds have lost their way, 

Nabooru: And this is relevant to the poem, how? 

Ganondorf: Nabooru, nothing in this poem is relevant. 

Darunia: Must…stop…it…. 

Skull Kid: HOLD IT TOGETHER DARUNIA! IT'S ALMOST OVER!!! 

Scream, yaffel, scream from tree to tree. 

Darunia: $#^! **does Goron slam, slams toward Link** 

Link: **shrieks like a girl and runs off stage** 

Rauru: *grabs Darunia's arm* No, wait! It's over, it's done now. No more poem. See? 

Darunia: It's….over? 

Ruto: Yeah. It's all over now. 

Darunia: **sigh** Guess i kinda overdid it huh? 

Saria: Ya think? 

Impa: That was terrible. 

Skull Kid: NO SHIT SHERLOCK. 

Zelda: And there's more poems next week, too (Not really either but-). Worse ones. 

Darunia: INJUSTICE! 

Nabooru: Yo… would you stop with the Gundam Wing thing? It's quite annoying! 

Rauru: I think I'm going to be ill. 

Link:Your so dead. **sheaths out sword** 

Zelda: Uh…Malon? A little help here? 

Everyone: *advance on Zelda* 

Zelda: Roll the credits Malon! Roll the credits! 

  
  
  
  


Zelda: Thank you for watching Crappy Poetry Theater. Please leave a review if you would like the show to continue. 

Link: Don't leave a review. We want the show to be canceled. 

Zelda: Shut up! Pay no attention to that psycho in the dress. 

Link: HOW MANY TIMES MUST IT BE SAID!!! IT IS NOT A DRESS!!! It's a tunic! 

Zelda: Ok… yeah… well anyway… if you'd like- Hey wait! Anime Chick!!!!! 

Anime Chick: zzz….zzzz….zzzz **wakes up** what the- $#^! Where does a girl go to get some piece of mind! 

Link: You can't get a piece of- 

Anime Chick: SLEEP!!! SLEEP!!!! 

Link: Oh….. 

Anime Chick: Anyway…. Remember ideas are helpful… and please r/r 

Darunia: If you r/r I will kill you. 

Anime Chick: No he won't. 

Darunia: Yes I will. 

Anime Chick: Won't. 

Darunia: Will. 

Anime Chick: WON'T. 

Darunia: WILL. 

Anime Chick: Okay, he will…. 

Darunia: **walks away** 

Anime Chick: Not. 

Darunia: I heard that. 

Author's Note: This story was MSTed by me. I have no idea who the author was though… so no flamers please (even though i'm not getting any... yet. Grazie!!) !!! They are not appreciated!!! 


	4. INSTANT MESSAGE TIME!!!!!!

Author's Note: Ok it's official. I have gone insane!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ummmmm to **Princess of Pixies ** I might be Italian. I am a lot of things. I just take ** _World Language Connection _ ** in school and they teach ya how to say volcab. and all that jazz in different languages. So yes I know _ grazie _ means thank you. So….. Well I know I am ** Irish ** (a lot) and ** Cherokee Indian **. And yes **sob sob** my ancestors (on my grandpa's side) walked the _ Trail of Tears _. But luckily… they were one of the few survivors. Hey that reminds me:   
./' I'm a survivor! I'm gonna make it! I'm a survivor! Keep on survivin'! ./'   
Oh yeah!!! I will always survive!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well moving on…….. I had this idea one day while I was sittin' in S.S class listening to Mr. Krauser yammer on about a bunch of old dead guys that stabbed people and became famous. **sigh** if only it were that easy. HEY C'MERE ALYSSA **evil smile** hehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!! Ok well moving on again… Here is the 4th installment of "What Zelda chars. Do To Waste Their Idiotic Time"…

**

What Zelda Chars. Do to Waste Their Idiotic Time Part: 4   
The Zelda chars. Go and send INSTANST MEASSAGES on aol (no doubt) 

**

Green_haired_freak has entered the OoC chat room 

Green_haired_freak: Ummmm is anyone here? 

Green_haired_freak: HHHHAAAAALLLLLOOOOO!?!?!?! 

Suductive_queen has entered the OoC chat room 

Suductive_queen: ./' But he's irresistible, up close and personal-./' 

Green_haired_freak: Eww Jessica Simpson 

Suductive_queen: Where? 

Green_haired_freak: **collapse** 

Suductive_queen: ./' His kiss is so powerful, irresistible to meeeeeeee! ./' 

Green_haired_freak: SHUT UP ZELDA!!!!! 

Masteryodin has entered the OoC chat room 

Masteryodin: Sup my dogs? 

Green_haired_freak: I am not a dog retard! 

Masteryodin: Really? I did not know that. But any-hoo… **in a creepy voice** I know what you did two years ago on spring break. 

Suductive_queen: Really? So you know about the seductive dress I bought to match my equally superb seductive figure? 

Masteryodin: What figure? 

Suductive_queen: SCREW YOURSELF!!!! 

Green_haired_freak: EEEEEWWWWW that's not right. 

Horsegurl4eva has entered the OoC chat room 

Horsegurl4eva: HI! 

Addictive_fairy has entered the OoC chat room 

Addictive_fairy: Hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi- 

Horsegurl4eva: Ok… that's been established already!!!!! 

SKULL-KID has entered the OoC chat room 

Green_haired_freak: Yoah! That's a pretty original name there Skull Kid **wink wink** 

SKULL-KID: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!?!?!?! 

Horsegurl4eva: it means it's you regular name dimwit 

SKULL-KID: OH YEAH!!! 

Cottoncandygirl has entered the OoC chat room 

Addictive_fairy: You need to LISTEN  more Skull Kid! 

Cottoncandygirl: Yoah. Wrong room. 

Cottoncandygirl has gone to "A Carnival" 

Dessert_flower has entered the OoC chat room 

Addictive_fairy: HEY  LISTEN -er… I mean look! It's Nabooru! 

Dessert_flower: eh? Did someone call my name? 

Addictive_fairy: see? 

Masteryodin: Who is addictive_fairy??? 

Addictive_fairy: Don't you ever LISTEN!!! It's Navi!!! 

Masteryodin: Oh….. goddesses…. no…… 

Addictive_fairy: …….. 

Sudductive_queen: NAVI!!!!! I ORDER YOU TO LEAVE!!! THAT IS AN ORDER FROM THE PRINCESS!!!! 

Addictive_fairy: oooooooootay…. 

Addictive_fairy has left the OoC chat room 

Horsegurl4eva: Oh… bye Navi!!! 

Horsegurl4eva: aw damnit!! How come I never get to say bye in just the right time? 

Dessert_flower: Maybe 'cause your brain sux? 

Green_haired_freak: Indeed. That's why you suck. 

Dessert_flower:  HEY!! 

Addictive_fairy has entered the OoC chat room 

Addictive_fairy:  THAT'S MY WORD!!! 

Masteryodin: **high pitched scream** EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! 

Addictive_fairy has left the OoC chat room < /> 

SKULL-KID: UUMMM THAT WAS WEIRD! 

Godofevil666 has entered the OoC chat room 

Rock_eatin'_sage has entered the OoC chat room 

Godofevil666: ./'Play, c'mon, play my song. Play it all night long. Play my mother **beeping** song!!! ./' 

Green_haried_freak: How come everyone is singin' a song? 

Godofevil666: They are? 

Rock_eatin'_sage: Is everyone here? 

Masteryodin: I'm here 

Rock_eatin'_sage: That's nice. Who's "I'm"? Please state your names. 

Masteryodin: ooooootay. I'm Link 

Green_haired_freak: Saria here 

Suductive_queen: Zelda-the seductive 

Horsegurl4eva: uh not really Zelda! This is Malon reporting! 

Dessert_flower: Yo, this is Nabooru. HEY STOP GETTING THE GAURDS DRUNK GANONDORF 

Godofevil666: IT WASN'T MEEEEEE!!!!!!! 

SKULL-KID: ./'BUT SHE CAUGHT ME ON THE COUNTER! IT WASN'T ME!! SAW ME BANGIN ON THE SOFA!!! IT WASN'T ME!!! I EVEN HAD HER IN THE SHOWER!!! IT WASN'T ME- ./' 

Green_haired_freak: don't get smart with me freak face. 

SKULL-KID: SHUT IT SARIA!!! ANY-HOO THIS IS SKULL KID!!! 

Godofevil666: Could have fooled me there Skull Kid. Uh this is the great Ganondorf! 

Masteryodin: Or not so great. 

Godofevil666: SHUT UP!!!!! 

Rock_eatin'_sage: Ok… ummm I'm sure you all know this is Darunia! 

Horsegurl4eva: Um not really. 

Rock_eatin'_sage: **glare** well then that's your problem! 

Horsegurl4eva: 'K 

Rock_eatin'_sage: Ummmmm where is Impa, Rauru, and Ruto? 

Sudductive_queen: Hell if I know. Ummmm I heard rumors that Anime Chick has decided to stop being a "lazy b*tch" and start writing a dialog for Mido. So I guess Mido's coming back!!! 

Green_haired_freak: $#^! 

Ruto <3's Link has entered the OoC chat room 

Shadow_warrior has entered the OoC chat room 

Fat_guy has entered the OoC chat room 

Lady's_man has entered the OoC chat room 

Lady's_man: Hello! This is Mido-the Lady's man 

Horsegurl4eva: I do not think so!!!!!! 

Fat_guy: ¡Ahola sinoritas y senors! 

Dessert_flower: SAY WHAT?! 

Fat_guy: I said "Hello girl's and guy's" 

Dessert_flower: ooooootay. GOD DAMMIT GANONDORF!!! STOP GIVING THAT DAMN JACK DANIELS TO THE FRICKIN' GUARDS!!!!!! 

Godofevil666: NO… er…. I mean…. IT WASN'T ME!!!! 

Ruto <3's Link: HEY EVERYONE!!!! I was reading- 

SKULL-KID: NO ONE CARES!!! < />P 

Ruto <3's Link: I DON'T CARE!!!!! I'M GOING TO SAY -er- TYPE IT!!!! Ok… I was on fanfiction.net the other day… 

Shadow_warrior: **groan** 

Ruto <3's Link: NO INTERUPTIONS!!!!! 

Shadow_warrior: **silence** 

Ruto <3's Link: well any-hoo… I was on fanfiction.net reading the latest chapter from ~*Misty Dawn*~'s "What do Zelda chars. Do w/ their free time". Chapter 15 was hilarious!!!! Ok I'll repeat one of the "dreams" they er we had - 

Anime Chick: Let me squeegee in here for just a sec. Ummmm ~*Misty Dawn*~ if your reading this…. Uummmm please don't sue me!!!!!!! **puts hands in pockets and starts to take out stuff in there** Ummm hmmm… there goes some bubble gum. A piece of trash, napkin, some donuts….uuuuuummm eeeewwww!!! And finally…. **holds up something the size of Texas** **LINT**!!!!! So I'm kinda' **BROKE** **crash of thunder and lightning**!!!!!! **high pitched scream** EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK… I'm outty **runs away** 

Masteryodin: **raises eyebrow** she's freaky 

Shadow_warrior: Uh huh. Just like you! 

Masteryodin: I RESENT THAT STATEMENT!!! 

Ruto <3's Link: Well any-hoo… here it is: P.S: this is my dream hehehehehehe: 

Masteryodin: that's like… not good 

Ruto ,3's Link: SHUT IT!!! Here it is: 

~*~Ruto's Dream~*~ 

(PS: these are actual quotes that Misty Dawn and her friend Emma wrote throughout her 7th and 8th grade Religion book!) 

::Ruto has a black background behind her, and she's walking. On the way, she meets people:: 

Link: Look! I got 93 cents! 

Ruto: HEY!! 7 more, and you can buy Burger King Cini-Minis! 

::walk walk walk:: 

Ruto: WHOA BOY!! DO I HAVE THE HEEBIE-JEEBIES!!! 

::walk walk walk:: 

Zelda: I like my new collagen lips! THEY'RE COOL!! 

::walk walk walk:: 

Ruto: ::looks at Malon, who has a quarter in her hand:: I'm NOT gonna tell you again! A Big Mac is 99 cents! Not 25 cents! 

Zelda: But-but-but-I only have 25 cents! 

Saria: DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY PEPTO BISMOL??? 

::walk walk walk:: 

::some dudes are mimicking Jack and Rose on the Titanic:: 

Rose: I'LL NEVER LET GO JACK!!! I'LL NEVER LET GO!!! 

Jack: No! Rose! You are smothering me!! 

Ruto: ::yells to the Jack-guy:: HEY!! WHERE'D YA GET YOUR SHIRT???! 

Jack: I got mine from the Lost and Found! 

Rose: REALLY?? I got mine from the side of the road!! 

::walk walk walk:: 

Mido: WON'T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?? 

Ruto: HECK NO!! 

::walk walk walk:: 

Nabooru: I was just a teenage werewolf. Now I'm just and old werewolf, who has an unhealthy obsession with donuts!   
Mmm...donuts...Aaaaauuuuggghh!!!! 

::walk walk walk:: 

::sees a guy with an abnormally small head:: 

Ruto: HEY DUDE!! YOU HAVE A PIMPLE ON YOUR SHOULDERS! Oops, sorry, I forgot, IT'S YOUR HEAD!!!! 

::walk walk walk:: 

Ruto: ::to Darunia:: DARUNIA! Your nostril is SO big! You could shove a peanut up there!!!!! 

Darunia: Is-snot!! 

::dream ends:: 

dessert_flower: I can relate to my unhealthy obsession. 

Rock_eatin'_sage: Hrm. ~*MISTY DAWN*~!!!! I DO NOT HAVE BIIIIIIG NOSTRILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Horsegurl4eva: Yeah ya do 

Rock_eatin'_sage: I HATE YOU ALL!!!! 

Sudductive_queen: okdok. This conversation is like, going now where. 

Shadow_warrior: well where do you expect this conversation to be in? San Francisco? 

Sudductive_queen: Uh not really Impa 

Shadow_warrior: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT- er not really but- 

Masteryodin: sssssssssooooooo what are we gonna talk about? 

SKULL-KID: WELL I HAVE NO FRICKIN' CLUE!!!!! 

Green_haired_freak: Well we don't expect you to have a clue! Why? Because you don't! 

SKULL-KID: OH YEAH. THAT'S REEEEEEEEEEAL SMART SARIA!!! 

Green_haired_freak: WHAT? Look I'm only speakin' my mind here! 

Godofevil666: Well speak it somewhere else. I really don't wanna know about your **cough** personal **cough** life **cough**. 

Green_haired_freak: YOU SUCK GANONDORF 

Godofevil666: I can relate. 

Horsegurl4eva: yeah we noticed 

Godofevil666: SHUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Ruto <3's Link: Well I have no frickin' clue what to talk about either. 

Lady's_man: uuuuummmmmm gggeeeee…………….oh I KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! I KNOW I KNOW I KNOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!! 

Fat_guy: Weeeeeeeeeeeell that was interesting. 

Masteryodin: well then Mido. WHAT THE F*CK IS IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

Lady's_man: er….. it's the next chapter 

Masteryodin: **collapse** 

Fat_guy: **collapse** 

Sudductive_queen: **collapse** 

Green_haired_freak: **collapse** 

Lady's_man: Ooooooootay that's getting annoying!!!!! 

Horsegurl4eva: **collapse** 

Lady's_man: STOP IT!!!! It's quite annoying!!! 

Godofevil666:**collapse** 

Dessert_flower: STOOOOOOOOP IT GANONDORF!!! THAT"S THE 99TH GAURD YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK!!!!! Uhhhhhhhh… whoops? **collapse** 

SKULL-KID: WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! **COLLAPSE** 

Shadow_warrior: well I won't collapse for you Mido. 

Lady's_man: okdok. I thank you 

Shadow_warrior: my shadows will do it. SHADOWS!!!! **shadows collapse** 

Lady's_man: THAT'S SOOOOOOO NOT FUNNY!!!!! 

Ruto <3's Link: ooooootay. Anime Chick must be TOTALLY bored. 

Anime Chick: yes sir e bob. 

Lady's_man: STOP IT ANIME CHICK!!! 

Anime Chick: oooooootay **snaps fingers and everyone is…… ummmm… un-collapsed?** 

Ruto <3's Link: THATNK YOU!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOOOOOOU!!!!!! 

Anime_Chick: does anyone wanna hear about my new…. Ummm… acquaintance? 

Masteryodin: Ummmmm how 'bout no. 

Anime Chick: **pout** 

Sudductive_queen: **sigh** ok… go on 

Anime Chick: **smile** ok!!! **puts arm around thin air** this is BOB!!! Not Bob, BOB!!!!! He's my imaginary boyfriend!!!!! 

Anime Chick: P.S (he's soooooo hot) 

Horsegurl4eva: and we care now because-? 

Anime Chick: I dunno 

Rock_eatin'_sage: okdok… well… ummmm please continue to the next chapter please. 

Anime Chick: oooooooootay ^.~ To all the readers- 

Ruto <3's Link: WAIT!!! People are reading this? 

Anime Chick: Uhhhhh that WOULD be the concept!! 

Ruto <3's Link: Well in that case… I LOVE MY LINKY-TWINKY 

Masteryodin: Uhhhh how 'bout no 

Anime Cick: o.O oooooootay. Any-hoo to all the readers. I have no clue what the next chapter would be about sssoooo- 

Green_haired_freak: Well gee. Then your just like Skull Kid 

Anime Chick: I GREATLY RESENT THAT SENTENCE!!!!! 

SKULL-KID: HEEEEEEEEEY!!! 

Anime chick: well moving on… if you have any ideas they are- 

Horsegurl4eva: GREATLY appreciated 

Anime Chick: HEEEEEY!!!! THAT'S MY LINE!!! 

Horsegurl4eva: too bad!!! 

Godofevil666: she wants ideas from you guys…. Well… mostly because she can't make her slow brain to function properly so she has no frickin' ideas. 

Anime Chick: ok Ganondorf. When I get through with this fanfic I am ssooooo gonna make you pay. 

Godofevil666: yeah right 

Anime Chick: **evil smile** just you wait!!! Well any-hoo… toodles and don't forget r/r!!!!! 

Sudductive_queen: Ok.... are we gonna leave yet? 

Anime Chick: Well no ones stopin' ya 

Fat_guy: Alllllll right. I think i speak for everyone when i say... 

EVERYONE has left the OoC chat room 

Anime chick: Wow! I never knew you could do that! HEYYYYY DON'T FORGET MEEEEEEE! 

Anime Chick has left the OoC chat room


End file.
